Doing the Charts of Children and Teens

Donna Cunningham, MSW

The following is an excerpt from a longer chapter on doing children’s charts in  Donna Cunningham’s e-book, Counseling Principles for Astrologers: Becoming an Effective Change Agent, issued October, © 2006 by Moon Maven Publications. http://www.moonmavenpublications.com. Contact the publisher for permission to reprint.

Most of us are familiar with the legend of prince Oedipus. When he was born, a fortuneteller said he would grow up to slay his father and marry his mother. To prevent this tragedy, his parents ordered the baby killed, but a kind servant spared his life and gave him to someone else to raise. He grew up and set off into the world to seek adventure and fortune. Sure enough, he unknowingly met his father, the king, on the road, they got into it, and Oedipus killed him. Then he arrived in the Capitol City, fell in love with the queen, not knowing it was his mother, and married her. When he found out what he'd done, he was so guilt-stricken that he put his eyes out, and they made his life into a TV. movie.

My question is, WHOSE FAULT WAS IT THAT THIS HAPPENED?  I THINK IT WAS THE FORTUNETELLER'S FAULT. No doubt, her reputation was enhanced by this predictive coup, but I personally hold her responsible. Would Oedipus still have killed his father and married his mother without the soothsayer's prediction? Didn't the prophecy - and the parents' actions to avoid the seemingly inevitable--actually create the tragedy? If little Oeddy had grown up with his mother nagging him about his homework and the mess in his room, she wouldn't have been so glamorous. Besides, he would have had the family structure and taboos to guide him. The National Enquirer notwithstanding, you just don't bump off your dad to marry your mom. Because the parents took the fortuneteller so seriously and Oeddy was shipped out, he didn't know this beguiling damsel was his mother, and he and his father didn't recognize each other.

Keeping the legend of Oedipus in mind, how do you read children's charts?  Verrrry tentatively! Given your seemingly omniscient set of tools, it is important not to give negative and fatalistic interpretations, as there is too much power in them. Prophecy by authority figures has immense influence over a child's life. Repeatedly, it's been seen how compelling negative parental prophecy is: "You'll never amount to anything." "You're going to grow up to be an alcoholic just like your father." "You'll never find anyone to marry you."

I call statements like these The Curse, since too many people obey them unconsciously, and spend their lives proving the parent right. Sometimes my therapeutic work involves finding these curses and taking them off. It even happens sometimes during sessions, if The Curse becomes obvious as a thought form barrier to fulfillment. I use the power inherent in our work to dispel that thought form, sometimes by taking on a mock-gypsy fortuneteller persona. The client giggles (nervously) and yet unconsciously heeds.
You don't want to be the negative gypsy fortuneteller archetype and create Curses (i.e., limiting thought forms) by making fatalistic predictions. "Your child will never marry." "I'm afraid he's in danger of growing up to be a drug addict." "She's doomed to failure in her career." Maybe you wouldn't say things like these, but be vigilant about what you do say. Otherwise, you may influence the parent to think negatively about the child, who could then live out the parent's prediction. Am I too tentative in dealing with difficult placements in children’s charts?  Perhaps so, but out of respect for the power of suggestion.

Soon after the original version of this book was published, I became the advice columnist for Dell Horoscope. By far the most heartbreaking letters I receive are those from young mothers, hysterical about negative predictions by astrologers who read their babies’ charts - often as a well-meaning baby gift given by a friend or relative! Sometimes the letter came from grandma, who’d followed astrology since the late 1960s but couldn’t be objective about her new grandchild. Dire forecasts based on an infant’s chart cause so much harm, both to the parents who suffer undue pain and worry throughout the child’s growing years and to the child, who may wind up living out the worst of the chart’s potential in a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

I would urge you to exercise extreme caution and empathy for the parent if you decide to include children’s charts in your astrological. My suggestion would be that you bone up on child development and child psychology. Above all else, monitor every word that comes out of your mouth for how it would feel if someone you viewed as a conduit to the Cosmos were saying that about your own youngster. My strong feeling is that parents should be given time to get to know their little ones by observing them, rather than by having preconceptions imposed on them from an interpretation of the astrology chart.  I personally do not do children’s charts until it is time for the parents to think about schooling, say age four, for then it becomes useful. Then I limit myself to talking about their gifts and challenges in school, learning style, family ties, and connections with peers rather than speculating about their challenges as adults.

Who Is Your Client in this Session?

We need to be aware that your client is not actually the child but the parents, who are there out of concern for their offspring. Parents who come for consultations are vulnerable and worried about whether they are doing a good job. They can give your assessment a great deal of power, coming from the seemingly omniscient and even supernatural point of view astrology gives.

Put yourself in the parent's shoes. Parents react strongly when outsiders criticize their kids - even though they are ostensibly asking you to do so. They also are very sensitive to any hint of faultfinding about their parenting skills. One woman tracked me down by long distance phone to tell me in a huff that she had read my book, Moon Signs. She wanted me to know that her son had Moon in Scorpio and she's not at all like I said she was. How dare I criticize her, when she was a good mother! (Considering some of the things I've said about that Moon sign, I'm lucky she didn't start a class action against me!) Another time, a sweet young woman took me aside after a seminar in Norway. She confided that when she read what I said about her daughter's Moon sign, she cried for two days. When I expressed my chagrin, she said that it was helpful afterward, because she changed the way she did things with her daughter. Still, I would have wanted my writing to be more sensitive. We never know how the things we say will wound a parent.  Even if you feel their parenting approach is not a good one, don’t come from a judgmental stance. Nothing gets better from judgment.

If you've never had children, it may be hard to fathom a parent’s vulnerability. If you've ever had a poem or article rejected by a magazine, you have a hint of how fragile the ego is when it comes to the 5th house. If you do have children, you may have forgotten that fear parents have of doing something wrong, especially the anxious, first-time parent. It is so painful, you may have defended yourself by becoming convinced you did it right and that, if parents would only listen to you, they, too, could do it right. The young parent is already bombarded with SHOULDS. There used to be just the ones the grandparents and other relatives laid on them. Now there is all the advice they get on talk shows, in magazines, in how-to-parent books and in chat rooms for parental concerns. Do you want to add a layer of astrologically derived shoulds?  Adjusting to parenthood is a difficult process. It entails a year or longer of major, deep-seated change. Often the new parent is deeply ambivalent about the responsibilities and the total self-sacrifice involved. Cultural myths about how woooonnnnderful it is to have a baby don't prepare them for the less positive feelings. The reactions often include depression, a sense of loss of freedom, resentment, and even rage. When everyone around them is telling them how incredible it all is, it helps to have one person who doesn't judge the ambivalent feelings. When you're seeing the mother, analyzing her Moon sign, aspects, and transits can give you more specific information about her adjustment process.
Parents carry around tremendous guilt if anything goes wrong. When I did a session about two hyperactive brothers, their intelligent, educated mother expressed concern that c-section births might have been responsible for their hyperactivity. She seriously deliberated over whether she should have done it another way, when in reality neither she nor the babies would have survived the delivery without it. I've worked in many medical settings, and parents who have children with birth defects inevitably feel very guilty and responsible for the handicap.

Remember that new parents, in particular, are asking you to comment on this product of their union and of the marrow of their selves. How devastating it can be to hear that there is something WRONG with that child. Discussing the chart's flaws is almost like pointing out a birth defect - not to the fingers or toes, but to their Venus or Moon. They are likely to react to a negative interpretation with still another layer of guilt.

The following are additional questions to mull over in sorting out who your actual client is. Are you seeing both the mother and the father? Which parent is asking for the consultation? What is the position of the mate concerning either the appointment or astrology in general? Answers to these questions can give you additional understanding of what the session means to the person who is coming to see you.

Should the Child be Present for the Session?

Sometimes, the parent wants to bring the child along. Hopefully, this has been discussed in the initial contact, when you set up the appointment. It’s unwise to talk extensively about the child in his or her presence–even one who doesn’t seem to have much of a vocabulary yet. To tune into the child, it can be useful to see a picture, so you might suggest the parent bring a photo along instead.
If the parent simply shows up with the child in tow, extreme discretion is needed. You may want to consider how old the youngster is and why he or she is there. Can the child understand what you are saying? Some babies brought along to sessions are very much alert and present, seeming to take it all in. Many of those being born today seem to be very old souls - especially the so-called Indigo or Crystal children - and I'm not so sure they don't understand.

Remember when you were a kid and heard adults talking about you, how humiliating and painful it was? What small children may conclude from being present while adults discuss them is that they are somehow bad. It is like being at a conference with the teacher or a doctor, where all their worst traits are trotted out and discussed. To return to the question of parental motivation, some bring older children in the hope that you will magically straighten them out. Even though that wish is unrealistic, it hangs, unspoken, in the atmosphere of the consultation room, and the child picks it up.

Few little ones can verbalize that this experience is distressing. Often, if you are alert, you can read distress in their body language or behavior. For instance, they may begin crying, becoming hostile or demanding attention. Sure, kids get restless during the appointment and find it hard to be still for an hour or longer--but exactly when they get restless is a telling clue.

Whenever you are asked to do a child’s chart, it is wise to discuss with the parent beforehand how vulnerable children are to being talked about, and that consequently it is not a good idea to bring them along. In doing so, you are modeling more sensitive parenting behavior. Funds may be tight, but if you bring up the need for a baby-sitter in advance, it can be planned for in the cost of the session, or they can ask a friend or relative to watch the children so your discussion can be deeper and more productive.

How Your Own Childhood May Be Played Out in the Session

Consider how unresolved history with your own parents can get in the way of objectivity when doing charts for children. Therapists are trained to watch for countertransference. That is, their clinical supervisors are constantly making them aware of ways unresolved difficulties with their parents contaminate their reactions to clients. These unconsciously are projected onto clients, who are then assumed to be just like the parent was. Since few astrologers go for clinical supervision, we also need to be vigilant about countertransference, for we can easily transfer remnants of our own history and needs into the session. Nowhere is this truer than with a child's chart, as the Inner Child is readily activated. Be sure you're not using the session to get out your anger about your parents' mistakes.

To assess how childhood experiences could influence your interpretations, look at your Moon, which represents the nurturing you received. Suppose you have Moon in Aries and received hostile caretaking in childhood. There may be leftover anger about unmet dependency needs, which you then project onto the child's parents. You decide that they aren't taking care of this child properly and become protective. With Moon in Virgo, your mother may have been overcritical. Thus, you interpret the parent's concerns as being overcritical of the child--and you may be overcritical of the parent's handling of the child. Or, with Moon in Pisces, you might have had to be your mother's caretaker because of illness or inadequacy, so you're convinced the parent in front of you is similarly inadequate.

Your nurturing patterns and attitudes toward children, as shown by your Moon, may also be played out in the session. Often, they mirror our mother's expectations of how a child should behave. We live what we learn, and unless we are alert, we can act out the attitudes and parenting behaviors we experienced as children. For instance, one student who had Moon in Capricorn recalled that her mother would always say, "I'm not raising children, I'm raising adults." When pressed, she admitted that her reactions to children were not so different from her mother's.

Think through your Moon's sign and aspects and how that illustrates your own early years. Also, think about the things your mother did that were the most upsetting, as anticipation of those behaviors is likely to be an undercurrent in the session. By becoming aware of any leftover baggage, you can avoid carrying those issues into the consultation. Lunar experiences and responses are very early ones. They tend to be less conscious than issues related to the Sun. They may also manifest as a general feeling tone in the session. It is also useful to know the Moon sign and aspects of the parent who is coming for the appointment, to pick up on their nurturing and child-rearing patterns.

Our Need for Knowledge of Child Development

When done by a sensitive individual who is knowledgeable about children, pediatric astrology could be a valid and valuable specialization, as much so as mundane or medical astrology. However, just studying astrology isn't enough. If you decide pediatric astrology is your niche, don't just study charts, study children. Learn about child development, so you know what is normal at various ages and you have an understanding of the special developmental tasks of each stage. (This is where the astrologer who has raised several children of her own can have the common-sense edge.) Read about learning theory, so you can talk to the parents about the best learning conditions or what might be going wrong in school, for instance learning disorders and ADD-HD are important diagnoses now. You might want to know about it and about current methods that are helping children with these problems.

Study child psychology to learn what may be causing a problem child's behavior. You need not master these subjects to the extent of being able to do therapy or remedial education. However, you need to know what may be going on, to recommend where they might go for help. The public library and the internet are rich and free sources of information about childhood problems, all the more readable because they are often directed toward parents rather than professional educators or therapists.  The internet will have sites for parents or teachers of children with special needs.

Books aren't enough, either. If you have raised children or are around them a great deal, you already have a wealth of practical experience in their behavior and phases. If you haven't been around children much, volunteer work, such as at a nursery school or with the scouts would provide more intimate acquaintance with children. Such exposure also cures the arrogance of the non-parent who is quick to judge those inevitable parental lapses into less than loving and enlightened handling of their offspring.

It would be well to know about new family life-styles and the relationship complexities involved, as many of your clients will be involved in them. Between 1986 and 1989, there were more than a million divorces in the U.S. each year. The number of children living in single parent households has doubled over the last 20 years. The stepfamily is another increasing phenomenon. Of all the marriages in 1987, only half were first marriages for both the bridge and groom .  Read about divorce, single parenthood, and stepfamilies, so you know about typical emotional reactions and consequences of such changes in the family structure.

Introducing Parent to Child

My recommendation would be to give a very general impression of what sort of being the parents are dealing with. Helping them become acquainted with the nature of the child can be especially useful where there are astrological incompatibilities. These would be revealed in comparing the charts of parent and child. Many differences that parents take personally are not deliberate challenges to their authority, but fundamental differences between two people. It really helps to know what those differences are in astrological terms.

For example, a Pisces Moon mother who values gentle, sensitive men may give birth to a macho fireball with Sun and Moon in Aries and Sagittarius rising. She will never turn that child into a poet or a mystic, no matter how hard she tries. Stress that blame is not to be assigned--it is not her failing, but the child's inherent makeup. Contrarily, a macho Aries father with a son who wants to study music can be helped to see that the child's sensitivity is a gift and not a reflection on the father's manhood.

A highly sensitive Cancerian parent may come to see that a Virgo child criticizes because it is in her nature and not because of the parent's inadequacies. Youngsters with Aquarius Rising and a strong Uranus may go through an especially rebellious and stormy adolescence. They need to become independent, self-sufficient adults who are not intimidated by social pressure as they pursue their unique, pre-selected life path. The rebellious period is not so much a challenge to parental authority as it is a necessity in becoming who they are intended to be. It’s also a normal - and even healthy - part of growing up!
Recognizing the child's inherent nature diffuses conflict. For instance, if you match a quick-moving Aries parent with a slow-moving Taurus child, this is a setup for friction. Understanding that pokey pace as natural to the bull and not merely bullheadedness, parents can make allowances. For starters, it might be wise to wake that particular child up a half-hour before the others. This strategy would give the youngster time to come back to life and complete those routines Taureans find so comforting. In short, when parents understand that children behave in certain ways due to their astrological makeup and not out of a deliberate desire to upset, the maddening qualities can be taken less personally.

Also, survey the chart for positive qualities, which parents can foster. Trines, sextiles, and especially quintiles show gifts to encourage. The quintile, a 72° aspect with maybe a 3° orb, is well worth looking for, as it can show the individual's own personal genius. Understand that not every person who has a quintile is going to score over 140 on an I.Q. test. It is quite possible to be brilliant in a single area of life. The quintile is your personal genius, which you may or may not develop and which you may or may not use in a socially constructive manner. A Sun-Jupiter quintile might show a gift for teaching and uplifting others by using one's own experience or personal charisma. A Mars-Uranus quintile could suggest leadership in avant guard areas or social causes, or might indicate technical and mechanical brilliance. A quintile between Mercury and Neptune could mean creative writing or psychic abilities. What would you speculate would be the talent represented by a quintile between the Moon and Venus or between Saturn and Pluto?

The biquintile, which is 144°, is similar to the quintile and yet is also apparently connected to the quincunx or 150° aspect. A 3° orb seems to work in these aspects. Thus, the quincunx would still be in effect when two planets are 147° apart, while the biquintile would also be in orb at 147°. In that overlapping area, the irreconcilable impulses that the quincunx represents make the native stretch to find a creative solution. Here, personal genius arises out of the need to reconcile the irreconcilable.

Personal vs. Generational Influences

Many of the parents and grandparents who write to my Dell Horoscope advice column worry about aspects to the outer planets, in that the traditional interpretations of such aspects can be quite negative. I urge my readers to keep such aspects in perspective, for they involve vast numbers of children born around the globe in the same time.

Take for instance, the children born with Mars and Uranus conjunct within about 8° in early Pisces in 2003, an aspect prolonged by retrograde and direct motions of both Mars and Uranus. In fact, every single child born on earth between June and October of 2003 had that aspect! That time frame was particularly crucial because birth rates are not the same all year, but instead reach a distinct peak from May to October, coinciding perfectly with that conjunction.  In the United States alone, therefore, we are talking about several million of these Mars-Uranus kids entering kindergarten in the fall of 2008. No doubt, Ritalin stocks will soar, and hordes of teachers will put in for early retirement!

Particularly when two of the slower-moving planets are in aspect to one another, it is important to keep the generational influence in mind.  Difficult combinations involving the outer planets are likely to signify major world events and conditions that shape the lives of whole generations in important ways. Granted, in some charts, because of being woven tightly into other placements like the Sun, Moon, or Ascendant, the effect of an aspect will be more prominent and thus more important than in others.
The outer planet’s sign - and the areas of life associated with that sign - will be a major area of concern and effort for that generation, based on changes and developments in those areas that affect the collective. For instance, for people born with Uranus and Pluto in Virgo, finding the right work has been increasingly complex and challenging throughout their adult years, given the focus on technology and the growth of huge conglomerates that dehumanize the workplace.

My book, The Outer Planets and Inner Life, Volume 3, delves into long-lasting aspects like the Pluto-Uranus conjunction of the mid to late 1960s and the Uranus-Neptune square of 1952-1958.  I also include a chapter about the Uranus-Neptune conjunction that was in effect in varying degrees from 1988-1998. Some time ago, parents were suddenly asking about the charts of some very unusual children - gifted yet struggling to fit into the system - and these charts were unique. For a number of years around these children’s birth, Uranus and Neptune were conjunct - that is, traveling been together in the sky -  first in Sagittarius, then in Capricorn, and finally in Aquarius. These strangely gifted youngsters tended to have the conjunction highlighted in their charts, perhaps connected with the Sun, Moon, or Ascendant or several chart features at once.

When strong, both Uranus and Neptune grant out-of-the-ordinary gifts and out-of-the-ordinary difficulties in fitting into the mainstream. In a conjunction, the pair of planets would be at the outer limits of anything today’s astrologers have ever known! While many of these children are already finding it challenging to fit into the strictures of our traditional social structure, applying traditional astrological interpretations to their charts is proving both inadequate and needlessly worrisome for the parent.

One day when I was browsing a metaphysical bookstore, The Indigo Children, by Lee Carroll and Jan Tober, insisted on coming home with me.  Immediately, the book provided important answers to the questions about the conjunction, for the traits given for Indigo children were strikingly similar to the traits of people who have Uranus and Neptune as prominent features of the chart. Uranian types are highly intelligent, inventive, extremely independent, visionary, and follow their own guidance rather than submit unquestioningly to authority. Neptunians are sensitive, dreamy, creative, imaginative, often psychic, and with a strong sense of compassion for the vulnerable.

Over the past few years, these special children - both the so-called Indigos and their younger brothers and sisters now called the Crystal Children - have been the focus of a growing network of parents and educators who want to meet these children’s special needs and foster their special gifts. Fittingly for such a Uranian collective, much of the strength of that network has come from internet communication, like Carroll and Tober’s site:  http://www.indigochild.com. An excellent resource for parents and teachers of these exceptional children is Children of the New Earth Magazine, a New Age offering that you can find out about at:  http://www.newearthpublications.com.

If you are inclined to interpret the charts of children, it would be helpful to investigate those sites and read the books on Indigo and Crystal children by Carroll and Tober or Doreen Virtue, for they give a very different perspective on the difficulties—and the special qualities—of today’s kids.

Should You Tell the Child's Future?

In doing children's charts, I don't focus that much on the future, period, nor do I do transits for babies or young children. It’s important to note that natal outer planet aspects will repeat themselves as transits for the first two or three years of life. Suppose Pluto is 7-8° degrees before a conjunction or opposition to the Sun. This aspect will repeat by transit several times in the first years of life, because it is a slow moving planet. Yes, that may signify a major, life-shaping event or condition of those early years.

In one way, it is useful to consider the future: to get a perspective on childhood versus adult expressions of the same astrological placements. The same chart feature that is difficult in a young child or teenager's chart may be an asset in an adult's chart. Those qualities that represent a problem today may be necessary for the future adult to develop to meet the life purpose. The same strong Uranus that makes Johnny such a problem in school and so challenging to authority can make him an inventive, independent, self-starting innovator.

As children, Capricorns can be serious, perfectionistic and hard on themselves. They often blossom as adults, having paid some dues and accomplished some of what they set out to do. Strong Virgo or 6th house placements have little venue in the life of a child and may result in low self-esteem. They are happier and have better self-esteem when they grow up and find fulfilling work. Youngsters like these would develop more confidence by having a little job like a paper route. Children with a strong 2nd house or Taurus emphasis might be also be happier with a little job like a paper route, so that they can earn money of their own.

Houses that are full show areas that will be important in adulthood. Parents might want to enrich the child's experience by planning special opportunities and activities in those areas. For instance, when a child has a strong and especially a positive 11th house, friends are going to be very important, possibly even more important than family. The parent might want to put the child into a playgroup or nursery school early and encourage associations with those youngsters who would have a positive influence.
Concerning the less desirable qualities shown in the chart, the late Joanna Shannon, an excellent New York astrologer, suggested keeping what you say to parents on a need-to-know basis. She felt that too much intimate detail gives the parent ammunition to use against the child in the inevitable parent-child battles. Keep in mind that what you say may be thrown up in the child's face someday, probably in a much-distorted form.

When you discuss qualities or future life styles the parent may consider less positive, their need to control can come up. Disapproving of future directions, they may strive to suppress the very qualities the child has come here to develop. We do not have to know all, see all, and tell all - we can use discretion in what we say. Aren't there things about your adult life that you wouldn't have wanted an astrologer to tell your parents when you were a baby?

For example, one of my students told a father that his young son had far more yin than yang in his chart. Apparently, that's what they're calling the signs now rather than masculine and feminine. The next step is to label such individuals testosterone challenged. Unimpressed by euphemisms, the father growled, "Are you trying to tell me my son is going to be a faggot?" She asked me how she should have replied. My question was, why did she feel she had to say that in the first place? Wasn't she herself questioning the boy's masculinity, in an abstrusely metaphysical way?

If the son is indeed going to be gay - and you wouldn't conclude that based on a single factor - it's none of his father's business. The prediction of homosexuality can create serious relationship problems with the parents, with all sorts of adverse reactions. Furthermore, the interpretation may be wrong, and homosexuality can't be prevented, any more than heterosexuality can. Any child's future sex life, regardless of proclivity, is absolutely none of the parents' business.

In the horoscope, you can see the talents and gifts, you can see the issues, but you cannot know the outcome...how that child will use those gifts or resolve the issues. It is presumptuous to think you know how the being will use those energies. Many children are born on a given day with the same chart - twins and astrotwins - but the souls who incarnate are not identical in their development. For instance, I had a young friend who was always going on about how she wanted to be a famous performer, although she hadn't a shred of talent along that line. She particularly wished she could be Madonna. Only when I looked up Madonna's birth information did we discover that my friend had the same birth date and year as Madonna!

To illustrate how the soul incarnating determines the expression of the planets, consider the wide spectrum of uses and abuses of the planet Neptune. When you survey the charts of alcoholics, psychics, and saints - all possible manifestations of Neptune--there is little difference between them. Probably if we had access to enough birth data, we'd find many pairs of astrotwins, one saint and one sinner. Some psychics become alcoholics in order to escape the psychic bombardment. Many recovering alcoholics become spiritually beautiful people—not saints but with great wisdom and love to give. Knowing and encouraging the constructive uses of planetary placements can help parents give the child a head start on optimal emotional and spiritual development. For instance, the child who has a strong Neptune can be exposed to spiritual teachings, given opportunities for creative expression, and watched for psychic abilities.